As women, mothers, business owners we all fill our days with so many activities we often lose ourselves in our roles, rather than in who we are. Even those of us who know how we should relax, meditate and chill out forget from time to time. Life in the Grace/Carle-Brown household can be pretty busy. We're a household of three, my hubby, my ten year old and me, with extended family of two older daughters and grandsons nearby. Hubby runs his own business, I run mine, we all do martial arts or yoga training up to five nights a week, I'm studying three courses and my son is home schooled. SO as you can imagine space and time to myself can be few and far between. At the grand old age of forty two and being a Mum from the age of nineteen, I have spent a long time ensuring that other peoples lives run smoothly. Food is prepared, washing done, essentials always on hand when they run out (it's amazing how much bread three people can consume). I've learned to multi-task, to think about what needs to be done for everyone else before I think of what I need. All of this adds up to a very tried and very grumpy Lou. I find that when I do get time to relax usually every other week when my son goes to his fathers and I have a whole day to do with as I please, it usually takes about an hour and I'm chilled and relaxed. However, yesterday I dropped my son at his Grandparents so he can visit his father for 6 days. I strolled in the sunshine back into the city and decided I'd buy a magazine and sit and read it over a coffee. I must have been standing infront of the magazine rack for a good twenty minutes trying to talk myself into buying a particular publication, my brain would not slow down enough and tune out the list of things waiting for me to do. Finally I settled on two publications which had articles that would be beneficial to work..hardly the switch off intended but a start. As I paid I was handed McDonalds vouchers, I don't eat in there however I'd noticed a group of teenagers sitting in the ton hall square so instead of heading to the The Buddhist Centre I strolled in the opposite direction to hand them my vouchers. So much for thinking just about me. I got to The Buddhist Centre, ordered my coffee, sat down, and felt my heart pounding in my chest. The more I tried to settle into my magazines the more the panic rose. I felt I should be doing something else. The reason I felt so stressed is I've had a month with no break. I've been tired, irritable and not myself but I've not listened or chosen to recognise the warning signs. So my plan from now on, I'm going to do as I suggested in a previous Blog You Can Do It All I'm going to take at least five minutes a day just for me, I'm going to read a chapter of my book, not on the hop between loads of washing or waiting for the shower, but actually five minutes of me time. I'm going to have at least five minutes four times a day to start with, so watch this space...off to read catch you later. |
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