Ever notice how all of life is circle. My Mum, the Sage of our family has a saying "It's all about Forming, Storming and Norming". The basic idea behind this is that as social animals we Form a group, (like a family) where we're polite to each other, delight in pleasing one another and generally enjoy the "honeymoon" period. After this comes this we stop being so polite, and try to decide who is "top dog", we realise how we differ from those we are in the group with and they start to irritate us. The Storming has arrived Finally we reach the final part of Mums saying the "Norming" we get to a place where we are all comfortable, we all have some form of agreement on how the group should be set up and perform as a unit and things settle down. My Husband provided me with a final part to this circle "Performing". Once we have sailed rose tinted through our honeymoon period, irritated each other and settled we can then decide what we as a group can achieve, whose skills work best for each part of the group activity and as long as everyone pulls their weight there can once again be a nice period of "Norming". All of this has been really true about my family. I got married in December (yeah, yeah, I know you're sick of hearing about it). We sailed through our first Month, in a warm glow of family. Then it got to the point where I needed space, my Husband needed space and my son, well he just chatted until our heads wanted to explode. We prowled around for a week, and finally sorted out our various pecking orders. We've spent the past month deciding what our personal and family goals should be, when and how we want to achieve them. And after a short period of Norming we're facing a storm...a 10 year old who needs to decide how he fits in, he's grown and is changing so fast internally and externally he needs to kick out and rebel a little. SO back to the family discussions and the whole cycle begins again. Circles, circles, circles. |
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