Some days I wake up and wonder if I'm going to make today a successful day. My idea of success can differ from day to day, depending on the type of sleep I've had. If I wake up in a positive frame of mind I find that from the minute my foot hits the bedroom floor I'm on a mission to fill my day with as many activities as possible. However if I've had a lousy nights sleep, I can wake up wanting the world to Go Away. Saturday morning was a morning in point. I slept really badly and woke up grumpy and unhappy. My husband and son had decided that as it was "Free Comic Book Day" they were going to hit the comic book stores in town, and believe me there was no way I was tagging along for that. Off they went and I sat unsure what to do with myself. I remembered that we'd not used the vouchers we had for our wedding. So I climbed in the car, stuck my ipod on and drove in the sunshine to the store just outside of town. At first I felt lost, and doubted my ability to find what I wanted. I looked at the couples shopping for their homes and wondered why my husband I had not come together. Were we really odd that we didn't spend our Saturdays shopping together. Then I sort of got into my stride. I started to enjoy pricing up the items and trying to get as much as I could for half the value of the vouchers. I managed to get a mirror for our bedroom, which believe me is a godsend, I've been doing my make-up and hair in a tiny shaving mirror for 4 months, totally unable to assess my outfit or look before leaving for a nightout..less than ideal. After a few small but necessary buys I climbed back into the car and headed home. The guys still weren't back when I got in, after a couple of minutes sitting I decided I'd walk to a wool shop I'd been meaning to visit for 6 months and just browse. Off I trotted, arriving to find that the store is no longer there. A lesson in it's self. I often have things I want to do and places I want to visit. More often than not I delay doing them or visiting them because I put others wants and needs before my own...I doubt my self worth, I doubt that my interest is justified...I doubt that my opinion counts. The store being closed made me realise that I've been treading water on personal goals. Not the goals to do with my business, not goals to do with my family, not academic goals, but the true personal goals that mean so much to me. As a result as the closed store I arranged my visit to the Mind, Body, Spirit Festival on the 26th May, even tough I would be going alone, I planned a visit to a book event with Isabel Losada on the same day. I decided that I need to do what makes me smile. By the time my Husband and son were home I was happy, chatty and feeling a success. Amazing what a lousy day can do for your Self Belief. |
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